


No Light, No Light

by CharlieBradbury_QueenofMoondoor



Series: Supernatural Songfics [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angry Dean Winchester, Apologies, Break Up, Cheating, Cheating Castiel, Phone Calls & Telephones, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-04-12 15:45:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4485307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharlieBradbury_QueenofMoondoor/pseuds/CharlieBradbury_QueenofMoondoor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel randomly walks out on Dean, and Dean calls him a week later to find out why. What Cas tells him is not what he expected. </p><p>Songfic based on No Light, No Light by Florence + the Machine</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Light, No Light

Dean called Cas with shaky hands. How could Cas do this? Why did he walk out? What did Dean do wrong?

 

_Ring, ring, ring._

“Hello.” Cas’s deep, gravelly voice answered.

“Cas? It’s me Dean. Don’t hang up. I have some things I need to say.”

 

Cas sighed. “Okay. Go ahead.”

 

**You are the hole in my head**

“I’ve done all this stuff for you Cas. Crazy things. Insane things. And you left.”

 

**You are the space in my bed**

“You didn’t even take all of your stuff. I have to look at it every day.”

 

**You are the silence in between what I thought and what I said.**

“We know each other so well. You can finish my sentences.”

 

**You are the night time fear**

“I can’t even sleep at night since you left.”

 

**You are the morning when it’s clear**

“Every morning I wake up and I and I see your face.”

 

**When it’s over you’re the start**

“When you left, all I wanted to do was talk it out with someone. But the only person I’d want to talk it out with is you!”

 

**You’re my head, you’re my heart**

“You’re all I think about, and everything I love.”

 

**No light, no light in your bright blue eyes**

“And I know that you weren’t happy in our relationship. Your eyes lost their sparkle.”

 

**I never knew daylight could be so violent**

“Our fights, they were…something of legends. They were bad.”

 

**A revelation in the light of day**

“But after each one I felt closer to you.”

 

**You can’t choose what stays and what fades away**

“And I know that I’m not in charge of you and that you were free to leave and stuff but…”

 

**And I’d do anything to make you stay**

“I didn’t want you to leave. You made me so happy.”

 

**No light, no light**

“And I think I made you happy too. **Tell me** Cas, **what** do **you want me to say?”**

 

Cas took a deep breath.

 

**Through the crowd, I was crying out**

“Damn it, Dean. You did make me happy. But it just wasn’t working.”

 

**And in your place there were a thousand other faces**

“I just…need time. To see other people, to learn about myself.”

 

**I was disappearing in plain sight**

“I was so unhappy, and you didn’t even notice! I was right in front of you, Dean!”

 

**Heaven help me, I need to make it right**

“And you made me so happy, and I know I made you happy. And I’m sorry I just walked out. But I need this Dean. Our relationship wasn’t good for me. It was too stressful.”

 

**You want a revelation**

“You want to know why I left. But I just can’t tell you at the moment. It’s all done, Dean.“

 

**You want to get it right**

“You act like you just made a small mistake, Cas! You ruined my life!”

 

**But it’s a conversation, I just can’t have tonight**

“I’m not doing this right now. You can call back later.”

 

**You want a revelation**

“No, Cas. This is a conversation we need to have right now. And you’re right I do want to know why you left. So tell me, Cas, why did you really leave?”

 

**Some kind of resolution**

“If you want to have closure, you need to accept that I have my reasons and they are personal.”

 

**You want a revelation**

“Stop it, Cas! I told you everything. Everything! And now you treat me like a child.”

 

**No light, no light in your bright blue eyes**

“I’m not treating you like a child! I’m treating you like my ex that won’t respect the fact that I left him!”

 

**I never knew daylight could be so violent**

“I respect that you left! I just need to know why. What did I do wrong?”

 

**A revelation in the light of day**

“It wasn’t you, it was me!”

 

**You can’t choose what stays and what fades away**

“That’s the most cliché and ridiculous line you could use right now. What did _you_ do wrong then?”

 

**And I’d do anything to make you stay**

“A lot of things. A lot of things that I don’t feel like talking about right now, so stop calling me!”

 

**No light, no light, no light**

 

“This is the first time I’ve called you since you left over a week ago! Just tell me _why_ Cas! Why?”

 

**Tell me what you want me to say**

“Fine! I cheated on you. I failed you.”

 

**Would you leave me if I told you what I’ve done?**

“What?”

 

**And would you need me if I told you what I’ve become?**

“I dated other people and you were just so in love with me that I had to _leave!”_

 

**‘Cause it’s so easy to say it to a crowd**

“How long, Cas? How long did you do this?”

 

**But it’s so hard, my love,**

“Dean I don’t-“

 

**To say it to you out loud**

“How long?”

 

**No light, no light in your bright blue eyes**

“Six months.”

 

**I never knew daylight could be so violent**

“How could you, Cas? I gave you three years of my life. Three _years._ Was that not enough?”

 

**A revelation in the light of day**

“I don’t know! I just met Hannah and…“

 

**You can’t choose what stays and what fades away**

“And what Cas? You just threw commitment out the door? I see how it is.”

 

**And I’ll do anything to make you stay**

“Dean you don’t understand, she told me-“

 

**No light, no light, no light**

“I don’t care what she told you! How do you throw away two and a half years for a random girl you don’t even know?”

 

 **“Tell me what you want me to say,** Dean! Do you want the hard truth or a convincing lie?”

 

**You want a revelation**

“I want to know if all of the time and effort that I spent on you was wasted or not.”

 

**You want to get it right**

“It wasn’t. Look, now that I’ve told you, is there any way you could forgive me?”

 

**But it’s a conversation, I just can’t have tonight**

“You want forgiveness for something you did for half a year three minutes after you tell me about it?”

 

**You want a revelation**

“I just need to know that you don’t hate me because _I still love you!”_

**Some kind of resolution**

“Yeah, Cas, sure. I’m sure that I can trust you after this. Do you think I’m that stupid?”

 

**You want a revelation**

“I loved you so much that I left you so I wouldn’t hurt you! And then you had to call and ruin it!”

 

**You want to get it right**

“Oh no, Cas. I didn’t ruin it. I made it easier to bear.”

 

**But it’s a conversation I just can’t have tonight**

“Please forgive me, baby.”

 

**You want a revelation**

“Did you call Hannah baby too?”

 

**Some kind of resolution**

“Dean can you please just-“

 

**Some kind of revelation**

“No, Cas. It’s over. For real this time. Bye.”

**Tell me what you want me to say**

_Click. Beep. Beep. Beep._

**Author's Note:**

> First songfic! I hope the dialogue wasn't confusing with no Dean said/Cas saids. I felt like it took away from the story and was distracting. If it isn't clear I can add them. I feel like it was all too sudden, like it was "I want you back" straight to :I hate you" but whatever.
> 
> I chose No Light, No Light because "bright blue eyes" (duh) and also because everything by Florence reminds me of Supernatural. I mean, cm'on, with lines like "Looking for heaven, found the devil in me" and "I'm not calling you a liar, just don't lie to me" how can you not think of Sam? Hope you enjoyed the fic!


End file.
